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Santa Banta New Year Jokes in Hindi | Santa Banta New Year Jokes

Santa Banta Happy New Year SmS

Ladki: ham shaadi kab kar rahe hain?

Ladka: bas mandir bante hi phauran.
Ladki: kaun sa mandir?
Ladka: Ayodhya vaala Raam Mandir.

Aajkal ke Love Couple 1 din me
Jitni baar I Love You bolte hai
utni baar Hawan me Pandit
swaha bhi nahi bolte hai.....i love you new fresh jokes
Shaadi ke samay Bilkhti Dulhan ko
Maa ne samghate hwe kaha-
Beti tu kyo roti hai
Bhawan ne chaha to tughe
le jane wala khud royega

new shaadi jokes dulhan sasuraal jaati hai
1 Highly Educated Modern bahu
Puga kane bethi tabhi sasu maa
ne kaha ye paan ke patte pe
laal laal chipchipa chij kaya hai
bahu ne kaha maa jee 5 Fruit nahi
mile to Mix Fruit Jam rakh diya.
Pujaa wahi Soch Nayi
wife husband se dekho me 7 saal se esko use kar rahi hu
phir bhi eski Fitting kitni acchi hai aur tum mughe moti-moti kahte ho
Husband- Bhawan se dar ye Shawl hai Kapada nahi
1 Ladki Gifts ki dukaan mein – kaaphi der
Gifts dekhane ke baad 1 Gifts ki taraph
ishaara karate hue poochha...ye hansati hui chudail
kitane ki hai ?
Dukaandaar- Madam ye Mirror hai....ladki pr majedar chutkula
Sirph Amitaabh aur Jaya hi apane bete ko bachapan mein sahi Shiksha diya hai..
Beta "abhi" padhai kar lo....phir baad mein jeevanbhar "Aish" ke saath rahana !
Thand kya hai? Kya hai thand?
Hamaare aatmbal se thand ka bal jyaada hai.......
Ye sochana hai thand!
Thand se bhaybheet hokar...... bistar mein sote rahana hai thand !
Jis neech ne mere sharir ko sust(IDLE) kiya.. 
usase darakar, haath pair dhokar, bina nahaaye,
Bathroom se peeth dikhaakar bhaagana hai thand!
Us thand ko maarne ja raha hoon main !.....
Usaki chhaati cheerkar...... saabun se nahaane ja raha hoon main....majedar chutkula 2019
Papa: Beti Aaj Tum Ne Phone
Par Sirf 1 Ganta Bat Ki, Tum
Ne To Kabi 4-5 Ghantay Se Kum
Bat Hi Nahi Ki.
Beti: “Papa Ye Wrong Number Tha”.
kejarivaal ne Bhrashtaachaar ki ladai Laalu ke saath Ladi, kaale Dhan kee ladai Mamata Didi ke saath, ab bas Aatankvaad ki ladai Bagdaadi ke saath ladana baaki hai.....news politics new fresh majedar chutkula
kal ek shaadi mein bhojan karane gaya, Aankhen nam ho gai. Unaki nai naveli bahoo, manjhali aur badi bahoo sabhi ghoonghat mein thi, vaah kya sanskaar. Baad mein pata chala - Notebandi ki samasya se Beauty parlor nahin ja pai thi.
Boyfriend requested to god- Hazaro ki kismat tere hath H,
Agr pass karde to kya bat H.
God-Galfrnds thodi kam, patata to kya bat thi,
Kitabe to sari tere pass thi.
Boyfriend donated blood to his Girlfriend....
After Breakup......
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'Mera khun mujhe waapis karde saali'.....
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Girl throws her wisper on his face-....
'Le kutte , Aaj se tera monthly EMI shuru.......
1 din ek ladke ki girlfrnd ka BIRTHDAY tha..
Boy was not in that city..
So, he ordered 24 RED ROSE for her girlfrnd/GF..
He called her up:" Dear maine tumhare liye utne ROSE bheje hain jitni saal ki tum ho gyi ho..
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While delivering florist thought:" Ye aaj ka mera sabse achha customer hai..
Chalo ise 12 ROSE FREE me de deta hu..
So, he gave 36 instead of 24..
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aur aaj tak bechara ladka nahi samajh paya ki uska BREAK- UP kyu hua..
Jaab tum raat sachche dil se sone ki koshish karo to..
Tab Wifi/3G ki tez speed tumhe jagane ki saajish karti hai
Boy-Papa..papa lagta hai Varsa aane wali hai
Papa-tu study kar.. nalayak, sara din bas ladkiyo ki baate karta rahta hai
Son- Papa me life me aage badhne ke liye kaya karu? Papa- Patthar le aur sabse phele ye mobile phor.....new jokes in hindi
:: New jokes in Hindi ::
1 admi ne 100 times khoon daan kark record bnaya
Blood bank walo ne uski wife ko prize diya
ye kehte hue ki
Apne Nahi PiyaTabi to Hmne Liya
: New jokes in Hindi ::
Bahot sweet hai wo jinhe hum chahte hai,
Hr pal Khuda se usiko mangte he
Dil tarasta he use pane ko
Kya Apka dil nai krta
“Dairy Milk” Khaane ka
:: Nice jokes in Hindi ::
Wish u a very happy married life…
aise kya ghoor rhe ho..
ph. mera, pese mere, sms mera,
to mrji b meri, jo chahe beju, tum shadi k bad pd lena..
Aaj Boss se jaab Chhuti Maangi
Taab ja ke pata chala meri kitne "Value" hai compnay me
Aankho Me aasu Aa Gaye
New jokes in hindi-
Girlfriend says to boyfriend: I’m PREGNANT…!!
boyfriend says: Are you sure its mine?
boyfriend starts crying & says:
“Yaar sab aise bolenge to kaise chalega…!!
Meri Aankhe Rakh Lo 
Mujhe Kuch Khwab Dedo
Jisme Teri Jhalak Ho 
Aesi Sharab Dedo 
Chalo Choro Sari Bate,
Aisa Kro 
.


2 Roti Or Thodi Dal Dedo.
New jokes in Hindi
Boy: Aapki sandle bahut acchi hai !
Girl: Haan utaaroon kya?
Boy:Chal pagli isse acchi to teri jeans hai
Abe O pagal, 1 Zabardast Sher Sun
Sher Bi Tu, Cheeta Bi Tu
Kya Frmaya?
Sher Bi Tu, Cheeta Bi Tu
Or
Bandron Ki Race Me “Jeeta” Bi Tu
Face fair karne k 3 tarike
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Mujhe pta tha tu zaroor padhega kali surat wale…
Fair & lovely laga leee
:: Small jokes in Hindi ::
I Love 
I Love u
I Love u
*
*
*I Love u
*
*
I love u So much
*
*
Bus Yehi kehna chahti thi
heer ranjha se. magar bechari ko ENGLISH nahi aati thi*
:: Small jokes in Hindi ::
Pehla Bhyanak joke of 2016.
phone rings tring tring..
1st: hello roshni he?
2nd: nahi he..
1st: nahi he to mombatti jala lo ho jayege.
Kash Tum BAKRI Hoti,
Main Tum Ko Ghass Khilata Aur Pyar Se Tumhare Seengh
Pakarta Aur Puchta Pagal Kon?
Tum Ya Main ?
Or Tum Pyar Se Bolti,
Main Main.
Sahami, Dari hui, “Kamsin Tanakhvaah” chupchaap sar jhukaaye aa rahi thi..
aur “kisht” “bill” aur “kharcha” naam ke gunde Seeti baja rahe the!!”
aakhirakaar “Tanakhvaah” Lut gayee....new jokes in Hindi on Salary
New mobile Yoga specially performed by girls -
Selfie me btkh ki tarah muh banana bhi ek tarah ka Yog
he hai.....new selfie jokes in hindi
new jokes new jokes on santa banta new love sms new-sms new sms collectionnew sms jokes new sms messages
Ye cheeze jab khatm hoti hai to bahut dard hota hai
Friendship
School
Money
Love
Sunday
Internet pack
Mast cute Saali ki Shadi
Paros me lahne wali preety girl ka transfer
Aur last wale me to Dil karta hai rooo hiii deee...new jokes in hindi
Kismat ho to Narendra Modi jaisi !!
Na parliament me opposition hai na ghar pe wife hai !!!
Bole to Life Jhinga la la
Husband comes home very early from shop and watch wife
with
Another handsome guy.
Wife- Why are you early.??
Husband- Who is he?
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Wife- Duffer..Don’t try to change the topic.!
Love romance is just like hot tea and
heart is like Parle-G Biscut 
Hadd Se Jyada Dubaoge To Toot Jayega...
Guess the minimum area with maximum decoration!!
Topper’s Answer was:
“WOMAN’S FACE”
Raat me motercycle or car ke peeche kute ese tezi se bhagte
hai jese
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agle chorahe pe 2 tamacha khichkar gari chhin he lenge
Madam-Bacho choti madhumakhi tuko kaya deti h
Bache-Madhu, Shahad
Madam-Patli bakri ?
Bache-Milk
Medam-Aur moti bhes?
Bache-Homework only homework...
Madam-De thappar pe thappar....
Wo Girlfriend Kis Kaam Ki Jo Pyaar
Na De
Aur Wo Saala Dost Kis Kaam Ka Jo
Udhaar Na De..!
Aaj kal ladke ladki se milne ke baad
unka naam nahi poochte ye poochte hai-
tum WhatApp me ho?
Ladke wale-Jee ladki ne kaya kiya huwa hai
Ladki wale-Jee esne naak me dum kiya huwa hai
ese le jaye bas....
Spiderman, Batman, Superman saab behosh
Dekh ke South Indian Movie ke Hero ka Josh
Mÿ Friend: Dost kaise ho?
Me: Mast hu..Bindaas hu..tu bata?
Mÿ Friend: Main bhi tik hu Yaar ek kaam tha..!
Me: Haan toh saare kaam karle, phir baat karte h....new new friend jokes
Fair N lovely cream sach me kaam karti hai me tab maan jaugaa
jab wo black money wale ko fair bana de
Shadi me Photographers/Videographer banne ka kuch aur hi maza hai aur masti hai Cute cute Ladkiya kahti hai
Meri lo na
Meri akeli ki lo.
Ye meri friend hai hum dono ki sath me lo
Meri close up lo, meri door se lo
Meri aage lo, meri side se lo......mood fresh new jokes in hindi
Pushing pushing but not gusing,
Pushing pushing bt not gusing,
When chusing then gusing.
Guess What?
Im talking about sui mein dhaga.
Neeche mat jao
Nahi plz
Neeche mat jao na
Kuch ho jaye ga
Plz
Dekho aisa mat karo
Maan jao na plz
Warna
Ho jaye ga
Plz mat jao
Aaah
Ohhhh
Dekha
Ho gaya na
sms/msgs Khatam.....mast mood fresh jokes in hindi
Use halke haath se pkrOO
Ab 1 ungli undar dalo.
Agar size bada ho to 3 ungli b daal sakte hai.
Ab upar niche ragdo.
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Is tarah hota hai glass saaf.
Ladka=Pura Aa Gya?
Ladki=Ha
Ladka=Fas To Nhi
Raha?
Ladki=Nhi
Ladka=Ek Bar Or DaL Du?
Ladki=Daloo
ladka=Ab Kesa Laga?
Ladki=Comfortable....pura fit ho gaya hai
Ladka=OK
Madam ka SANDEL Pack Kar Do..
Girls hostel ki light 2 din se gayab thi
Tang aa kar girls ne electrician ko
phone kiya aur kaha,
2 din se hum ladkiya mombati se kaam
chala rahi hai,
Aaj to koi ladka bhej do
ek baar santa ka promotion inspector se DSP mein ho gaya...aur ussi din uski wife behosh ho gayi.
Socho,usne ye baat usse kaise batai ho gi???
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Santa: wife se, ab tumhe DSP Sahab ke saath sona padega
1 Ladki ko Chai bnani thi
Lekin uske pas dudh nahi tha,
Phir usne apne kapde uttare
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Or Dusre kapde pehan kr dudh lene market chali gyi....mood fresh new new jokes
Boss 2 cute Secrtary: chaey (tea) Bana do.
Secrtary: Sir Sugar kitni?
Boss: 2 Spoon.
Cute Secrtary: Doodh kitna dalu?
Boss:Doodh bus Dikha do me khud Daal longa...!!boss cute secrtary girl jokes
1 ladkene ne to had hi kar di
apne feedback me movie channel ko likh beja
Movie me bech me only only Cnd0m ads dikha nahi sakte kaya?
Actully use dekhkar me bore nahi hota
Ajkal mere ghar me aur koi nahi hota...
ladki college counter mein- fee jama kar do
counter wala- abhi nahi lunch ke baad
ladki- meri le lo na
counter wala staff kaha na lunch ke baad lunga
ladki-ladki lunch ke baad mere period start ho jaega
Girl -Bas bhi karo ab
Boy -Kuch nahi hota
Girl -Kisi ne dekh liya to?
Boy -Kuch nahi hoga,tum sidhi raho thoda khol ke rakho agar nahi dikhaya to mai Fail ho jaunga yaar, try to understand my dear classmate.....
Pehly bahon main uthana,
.
Phir kiss kerna,
.
Phir bed per letana,
.
Pher tangain uthana,
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Ohhh
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Kitna
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Mushkil hay,
.
Bachay ko pamper pehnana.
Boy: Aap ka naam kya hai?
Girl: Pehan ke bataun ya bol ke?
Boy: Kya matlab?
Girl: PAYAL aur aapka?
Boy: Haath mein dun ya muh mein?
Girl: Matlab?
Boy: Prasad
Friend1: Waah yaar kaya mast health ban gayi teri, kaya desi ghee kha raha hai ya Protein Powders?
Friend2: Abe Sweter phana hu kamij ke ander!....new winter jokes in hindi
Happu Singh- Delhi chala gya..
Railway Station pe akhbaar wale se bola 1 akhbaar dena...
Akhbaar wala- Hindi or English ka?
Happu Singh- bhai koisa de de mnne to roti lapetni hai
Mandir par sign board – Mobile Joke
10 Saal phle jaab mandir jaate the..
-
to vahaan bord laga milata tha
“Mobile Phones Prohibited “.
-
5 saal baad bord badal gaya
“Keep your mobile switched off”.
-
pichhale saal bord laga dekha tha
“Keep your mobile in Silent mode”.
-
kal gaya to bilakul hee letest bord dekha
“Selfie with the Lord, Rs.51/-only“
Dad catches Titu while smoking...
Dad: "Ye kya chal raha hai?"
Titu: "FOGG chal raha hai PoP..."
kutte jaisi pitayi titu ki....new jokes in hindi 2019
Aapka husn dekh kar bolta hai aaina
Aapka husn dekh kar bolta hai aaina
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This fairness cream is made in China...new girlfriend jokes in hindi
Biology k Sir:
Boys can you tell me exactly where is your heart?
All boys shouted loudly
Larkiyon k paas
Sir smiled & said slowly....
Mera bhi....
When i want to fall in love with my books
My bed falls in love with me
And I believe that love the one who loves you
Gunda - oye chal Hapta nikaal
Dukandaar-Kalender pharte hue le bhi pura mahina hi rakh le..
How does a Bengali woman introduce her husband?
“Yeh homaara POTY hai”
On Whatsapp and Facebook With friends
Ladka-char bottle vodka kaam mera roj ka...
At home
Whae ladka-mammi ye jo mehmano ne juice nhi piya,wo mai pee lu??
Very Wise tips of the day-
Mandir ki sidhiyo pr dono chappalo alag alag kone par rakhne se unhe chori hone se
bechya jaa sakta hai..
Life of Desi ladka/Guy:
Road Traffic- 21%
Papa's "Tere se nahi hoga"- 22%
Boss' Abuse- 12%
Girl's "Lets stay friend"- 14%
Watching "Loading.." over Internet- 31%
Unmarried hone ka sabse bada nuksaan-
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App raat me bed ke dono aur gir sakte hai
Ladkiya agar esi tarah ke expression ke sath selfie leti rahi to jaldi hi
school me padhaya jayega ki hamare purwaz bandr nahi batkh the
News channels aur biwi dono ek jese hi hote hai
jaab tak 1 baat ko 10 baar na beta de enko sukun nahi milta
Aaj ke es ghutan bhre mahol me
Sirf Customer care wali hi hai
Jo garib se garib aadmi se bhi
Izzat se baat karke VIP wali feelings deti hai
Girl: Mujhe iPhone 6 Lena Hai.
Boy: To Le Lo.
Girl: Kaun Si Company Ka Lun?
Boy: Patanjali Ka Le… Us Mein Virus Aur Bacteria Nahi Hote! chutkule hi chutkule
Jo bukhar me bhi kaam kare wo hota hai....Vyapari
Jise kaam dekhkar bukhar aye wo hota hai....Sarkari Karmachari
Kuch ladke to ladkiyo ko messages bhejkar ese entjaar karte hai mano udhar se reply me IAS-IPS ka joining letter ane wala hai
Santa called on Snapdeal's helpdesk.
Santa: Is it Snapdeal?
Snapdeal: Yes sir.
Santa: My wife has given birth to a baby.
Flipkart: So what?
Santa: It will be better If you provide me the cash offered by you.
Snapdeal: Hey... which cash?
Santa: Aren't you that company who told in the advertisement 'Cash on delivery is available'?
Santa Ko 5wi Bar Beti Hoi To Us Ne Elaan Kia K Mera Beta
Peda Hoa Hy, Dost Ne Deikha To Kaha K Ye Larki Hai, . . Santa Bola Ae Munda
Apni Maa pe Geya Hai...........jokes of the day
Santa Or Banta Ne Zindgi Mein Pehli Bar Riksha Dekha
Santa: Dekho Kitna Chhuta Tanga Banta: Hain Yar Or Gadha to Dekho Admi Jesa Dekhta hai...jokes of the day
Teacher: Ek Aysa Sentence Batao Jis Mein Urdu, Hindi, Punjabi Or English Ka Sahi Istamal Hua Ho
.. . . . . . . . . . Papu: Ishq Di Gali Vich No Entry..
Doctor: Ji Haan Batao, Kya Takleef Hai?
Ladki: Ultiyan Ho Rahi Hain!
Ladki: Kya Khaya Tha?
Ladki: Pyar Mein Dhokha! Doctor Sahib! doctor girl jokes
Ladki: Mere Pet Mein Tumhare Pyaar Ki Nishani Hai.
Ladka: Lekin Maine To Aisa Kuch Bhi Nahi Kiya.
Ladki: Tumne Mujhe 5 Star chocolate Di Thi Na, Wo Maine Abhi Khayi Hai.
Ladka: Zara Theek-Thak jokes Kiya Kar!
Pappu: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung showroom?
Gappu: What?
Pappu: Guardians of the Galaxy! new jokes
Mr. and Mrs. Bhagat were blessed with a cute baby girl. They.
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decided to name her...
'Mili Bhagat'! ......majedar chutkule
Pehle Fogg Chal Raha Tha, Ab Loo Chal Rahi Hai...
Dono Sath-Sath Kyon Nahi Chalte?
Husband Wife Hain Shayad!
Shadi Mein Dulhan Ka Ex-Boyfriend Aaya.
Bride's father: Aap Kaun Ho?
Ex-Boyfriend: Ji Main Semi-Final Mein Bahar Ho Geya Tha, Final Dekhne Aaya Hun!
Gappu chatting with a charming girl:
Gappu: Darling, who are you?
Girl: I am a "Mystery-Fairy" girl.
Gappu: Ka bolat ho Gori Madam hum smghne na aacha chalo koi baat bahi, Toh Hamare Ghar Ka Furniture Hi Repair Kar Do!
Preeto saw beer bottles in the fridge and asked Pappu, "What is this for?"
Santa: I'm freezing the properties of Vijay Mallya!......majedar chutkule
American's password: b3az2yfdsiop
Indian's password: iluvupriya
Masterjee: What's the difference between LOVE and Marriage?
Ladka: Very Simple Sirjee, Pyaar Insaan Ko Andha Bana Deta Hai Aur Shaadi Insaan Ki Aankhein Khol Deti Hai!
Shortest rejected proposal:
Boy: Tere Kitne Bhai Hai?
Girl: Tujhe Mila Ke 3
India Mein Jitne Railway Fatak Hain...
Usse Zyada Yahan Biwiyon Ke Natak Hain!
I am single because...
Mele Babu,
Mele Shona,
Mele Motu,
Mele Sweetu,
Mele Ladoo,
Meli Janu.
Yeh Sab Humse Nahi Ho Paayega!
Teacher wo teen shabd bataao, jo sabase jyadaa bole jaate hain.
Pappu "mujhe naheen pataa". Teacher shaabaash betaa, baith jao.
Pappu pandit jee, meri shadi nahi ho rahi hai. Koi upaay batao.
Pandit badon se 'sadaa sukhee raho' ke aashervad lenaa bnd karo.
Santa ki girlfriend ne usko
message kiya “I Miss U”
Bohat dair sochne k baad
santa ne jawab diya:
Ok,
mujhe manzoor hai, I Student U.
Tension - When Wife Is Pregnant.
Terror - When Girlfriend Is Pregnant.
Horror - When Both Are Pregnant.
Tragedy - When You Are Not Responsible For Both.
Bus mein 1 javaan ladki khadi thi. Pappu ne dekha aur khada hokar bola, "aap meri jagah par baith jaen".
ladaki ne yah sunkar use jor se ek jhaapad laga diya.
"bhalai ka to zamaana hi nahin hai aajkal", yah kah kar Papu rote hue dobaara apane papa ki god mein jaakar baith gaya.
Latest New weather Report-
Bhari barish ke karan
ladkiyon ke makeup dhul gaye...
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Unke Selfie me Bhari giravat...aayi hai

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