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Santa Banta Happy New Year Jokes | Santa Banta Latest New Jokes

Santa Banta ke New Jokes


Bahut namkeen hai vo jise ham chahte hai,
Har pal khuda se usi ko mangte hai, 
dil tarasta hai use paane ko,
Kya aapka dil nahi korta maggi khaane ko?...............hindi jokes sms 


Lawyer husband demands fees
from his wife after they get into an argument...
Tomatoes cry discrimination,
say 'we reached 100 before Harmanpreet Kaur but no one noticed'
:: New sms jokes ::
GIRL TO BOY: Jab tum log girls ko I LOVE YOU kehte ho
to un ka haath Kyu pakad lete ho
BOY: bas apni hifaazat ke liye
kahi thapad na mar de
Mai to yu hi
Paani ko gaur se dekh
raha tha yaaro..
Itne me 1 machhli
nikal k boli..

Kaminey.. Tere ghar me maa behen nahi hai kya..?
Raavan- Saadhu banke Sita ki jhopadi ke paas jaata hai.
Raavan- Bhikshaan dehi. Rekha to paar karo Devi....
Sita- (Door se hi): Chal...Chal Paytm open kar....
:: Humour jokes ::
Chinese ladki ko dekh kar maa boli: Beta, yeh kya le aaye? :-x
Molu: Apne khud hi toh kaha tha,
ke ghar aate huye Cheeni lete aana.
:: New sms jokes ::
GOLU-Mai bahut pareshan hu
MOLU-Q
GOLU-Yaar maine suna hai biwi doli me baith ke jati H or arthi pe jati H Or meri biwi taxi me baith k chali Gyi
:: Latest jokes sms ::
Yaha Har Kisi Ki Zindagi Ka 1 Hai Maqsad Hai..
.
.
.
Khud Bhale kameena Ho Lekin ladki Sharif Chaiye'
:: Latest jokes sms ::
bhikari: Bahen Bhoka Hu bhagwan KE Naam PE Khana De Do
Behan: Khana Abi Ni Paka 
bhikari: FaceBook Pe BABA Pappu K Nam Se H 
khana Pak Jae To Wall Pe Update Kar Dena
:: Latest jokes sms ::
Kya farak padta hai chahe
munni badnam ho ya sheela jawan ho
Hum to jawan bhi hai or badnam bhi hai
:: Humour jokes ::
A man saw a board at d centre Of a River,
He tried 2 read
but he can’t read it.
So,he swim into d River &read
“CROCODILE INSIDE-DONT SWIM”
:: Humour jokes ::
Tees mar khan- Flop
Dabang-Hit
Moral-
Ladki jawan hone se kuch nahi hota
Badnam honi chahiye.
:: Great jokes ::
Chunav Lad Rahi Mahila Se Reporter Ne Pucha-
Apko Chunav Ladne Ka Khayal Kaise Aya
Lady- Jab B Me Apne Pati Se Ladti Hu To Jeet Meri Hi Hoti Hai
:: Great jokes ::
BOY - Tumhari AGE kitni hai.
GIRL - 21 year.
BOY - 5 saal pehle bhi to tumne yahi kaha tha.
GIRL - dekha ladkiya apni zuban ki kitni pakki hoti h.
Aaj ke modal bhi kya khaak Model hain -
Model to ham hua tha bachapan mein -
jab Mummy ke haath se bani hui sawtar pahan kar nikalte the
ghar se aur
apani muhalle, doosari muhalle aur rishtedaari mein aurate
kheech kheech kar
aage pichhe tatolati aur aapas mein baat kar ki -
haan aa gaye samajh mein
do phande sulte aur teen phande ulate .....
kasam se Model vaali Feeling aati th
Happu ne 25 Varsho tak kathor tapasya ki...
khush ho kar
Bhagwan bole- VAR MANGO VATS..
Happu - mujhe 8 var Chahiye
1. Mai sunder sunder ladkiyo ke sath swiming pool me aasnaan karu
2. sweet cute Beautiful Girls/ladkiyo meri GF bane, Friend bane
3. Mai 4 week me World mai popular ho jau
4. Mera naam "Breaking News" mai Shamil ho..
5. Miss India mere liye Khana aur chaye banaye
6. Mai kam samay me Jindgi ke pure Maze Lu
7. Meri life full of surprises and happening ho
8. Mai Aalisaan Sunder Bangla mai rahu
-
Are murkh/bewkuf(Fool) en saab ke liye kathor
tapasya karne ki kaya jarurat thi
BIGG BOSS 11 mai chale jata??
Ok VATS..Tu commoner banke BIGG BOSS 11, 2017 mai jaayega...
Q- esa kaun sa state hai jaha student ko
Top karte he jail me daal diya jata hai???
A-Bihar
Aajkal ki Janta to Civil-High court, Police-CBI par bhi bharosa nahi karti..
.
Aur ek hum humara bachpan tha, Jab hum ” AADA – PAADA kon PAADA” krke hi gunhegaar ka ptaa lgaa lete the..
Santa- Main to 8-10 saalon se cashless transaction
kar raha hu...Dukaandar use use udhaari-udhaari bolate hain...
Raat me Itni thand me rajai se nikalkar Peshab Karne ke liye
jana kisi stunt se kam nahi hai...............§ winter special jokes in hindi §
Teenage love story - 
Boy- I love you
Girl- mai abhi eske ke liye tayaar nahi hu
Boy- ab kaya, hai bolne ke liye bhi make up karogi, pagli?
chandu ke chacha ne, chandu ki chachi ko
chandi ke chamche se chatni chatai
chacha se chachi boli

kaab tak chatayega chatni mujhe?
kabhi chinese chiken chilly bhi khila de!
Mere se Girlfriend kahte H - shadi kar lo tumhari jindigi jannat bana dugi
aur banana use daal chawal bhi nahi ata; Bol Bachchan to dekho kamini ka
An Ultra Modern wife's note for the husband :
I am going out with my friends for dinner. Your dinner is in the recipe book, on page 25 and ingredients are available at reliance Fresh :
Aaj ki naari
sab pe bhaari!!!...
# Notice By Traffic Police #<br> Gaari chalana aur Soundarya Darshan<br>ek saath naa kare<br>Devdarshan ki prapti ho sakti hai<br>Janhit me Jari
‚‚ Short sms jokes ‚‚
A Girl Dialed Her Own Number From Her Boyfriend's Cell To See Her Name Saved In List Like
Doll Or Sweetie. 
.
She Was Shocked To See
.
.
.
ramu gardener
‚‚ Short sms jokes ‚‚
To the People who hate me:
Dear Haters..
I couldn't help but notice that,
AWESOME ends with "ME"
&
UGLY starts with "U" !
‚‚ short sms jokes in English ‚‚
A Social Msg For My All Friends and brothers:-
.
.
"Don't Drink water without Boiling....
Bcoz fish swim in water without wearing pampers....!!!

Short Sms Jokes

1 dukhi girlfriend ne apne boyfriend ne 1 shayari likhi

Phoolon ka raja,baharon ka shehzada

Dil tod kar chala gaya Kutta, kamina, haraamzada
‚‚ short sms jokes in English ‚‚
"GIRLS are like Bluetooth
u stay close dey stay connected
u go away dey find new device"
‚‚ short sms jokes in English ‚‚
Judge: u r accused 4 rape, so u r fined Rs. 11461,
.
Man: Mylord y exactly Rs. 11461?
.
Judge: Rs. 10000 for rape, 4% vat & 10.2% Entertainment
‚‚ Short sms jokes ‚‚
Girl Friend: Kuch aisa bolo ke mere dil ki dhadkan tez ho jaaye!
.
.
.
Boy Friend: wo dekh tera Baap.
Hosle Sare aazma baithe,
Hum zamane k gam utha baithe,
Jiski Chahat me Umar bhar Tadpe,
Uski hi Shaadi ki Biryani Kha Baithe.
:: latest, new, best, short sms jokes, collection ::
Bahut dur rah kar bhi pass lagte ho
Nazro se dur rehkar bhi khas lagte ho
Har baar dusro ka diya SMS bhejte ho
Aur khud ko “TULSIDAS” samajhte ho
Na muje kisi ka dil chahie..,
Na Muje jmane se koi aas hai..,
Jo apna smjh kr apni saheli ka no dilwa de..
Muje us dost ki talash hai.
:: short sms jokes in Hindi ::
Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?
Prince: Kya acha lagega? 
Andar choclate thi, pastry thi, milk badam tha. 
Thodi der aur ruk jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati....
:: short sms jokes in Hindi ::
Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab aurato ko MAA kaha karo. 
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega...
2 bachay jungle me potti kar rhe thay,achanak sher agaya

1st: chotu tu dar to nahi raha?

2nd: nahi,main nahi darta

1st: to phir apni dho meri Q dho raha hai??
:: short sms jokes in Hindi ::
Bahu- Maji, ye abhi tak nhi aaye, kahi koi dusri aurat?
Saas- Kalmuhi,tu hamesh hi ulta sochti h,aisa bhi to ho sakta h ki ,truck ke niche aa gya ho..!!!
:: short sms jokes ::
2020 me apko customer care ke sms is prakar aayenge.. Dear customer, your wife can become a mother without your struggle.. Just sms "child" to 556677
Jab koi sms ni krta.
itna gussa ata h
dil to chahta h
chapal utar k...
aram se baith jau or
sochu sayad sms bhejna nhi ata hoga.
Teacher: isko sentence ko translate koro-"girl kapde pehen chuki hai."... all boys ek sath me bole-ohhhhh... Shit.... We are late.
Sholey ki team ne IPL me bhag liya,. gabbar ke bowler ne 20 over me 150 run diye aur extra me 200 run diye..batao kyun?.... kyunki wicketkeepar thakur tha
:: Jokes and sms in Hindi ::

Boy- Tumhari kameez fati Hui Hai
Girl- nahi Ye Fashion ha
Boy- Acha Khud Faado toh Fashion

Hum Faade Toh POLICE STATION?
:: jokes and sms in Hindi ::

Height of Job satisfaction- 
A boy got a job in girls hostel...
After 2 months owner asked: Y u don't come 2 take ur salary? 
Boy: KYA..?
salary bhi milegi..!
:: jokes and sms ::

Apni Pasand ka koi 1 Fruit Choose Karo
.
Apple
Lemon
0range
Mango
Banana
Chery
.
.
Or rply mt krna, Kharid Kr
Kha Lena.
Fruits r good 4 health...!
:: jokes and sms ::

1 pathan 2sre pathan se!
Yar suna he 2012 tk duniya khatm hojye gi
2sra pathan:
Asa nhi hoga me ne kal washing machine khridi hy us pe 2014 tk ki guarnty h.
:: Jokes for sms ::

Wo MsG TuMNe MuJHe ABHi BHeJa THa Wo DuBaRa BHeJo PLZ..!

CoNFuSeD?

KaBHi KoI MsG BHeJa H Jo DuBaRa BHeJoGe
"KaNJus" ! !
:-p
:: Jokes for sms ::

story: once a boy was smoking at airport.

Girl asked:1 din me kitne cigrete peete ho.?
Boy:why.? 
Girl: Agar ab tak zindagi mein cirgrete pe kharch kiye huye paise bachate to samne khari hui car tmhari hoti... 
Boy: Ap cigrate peeti hai..? 
Girl: No. 
Boy: To kya wo car apki hai..? 
Girl: No.
Boy: Thanks for advice,
Wo car meri he hai... 

MORAL: zyada lecture dene se bezti bhi ho jati hai ..
:: short jokes sms in Hindi ::

Aap sochte honge k hm Itne msg kyu krte h?
Ans:Bharatiy Shiksha Abhiyan k antargat Aap ko roz kuchh na kuchh padhna jaruri h
"Padhega India,Tabhi badhega
:: mobile jokes sms in Hindi ::

Girl- Main jb bhi phon krti hu tum Shaving kr rhe hote ho,
Din me kitni baar shaving krte ho?
Boy- 30-40 baar.
Girl- pagal ho kya?
Boy- pagal nahi NAAI hu.
:: mobile jokes sms in Hindi ::

Na Aasman Fata, Na Dharti Hili 
Fir Apne Kaise Socha Humare Msg Se Mukti Mili
Are Hum Zara Se Busy Kya Huye Ki
Apne Maan Liya K Ye Musibat To Tali....
:: new sms jokes in Hindi ::

If a Single Teacher Can't Teach All d Subjects,

Then How Can U Expect a Single Student to Learn All Subjects? 

Think Hatke!
:: new sms jokes in Hindi ::

Boy- Ro Q rhi ho?
Girl- Mere marks bahut kam aaye hai.
Boy-Bata kitne aye hai?
Girl- Sirf 88 %
Boy- Khuda ka khof kar zalim itne me to 2 ladke pass ho jate
Boyfrnd-Main Tumhari Roz-Roz Ki Farmaishon Se Tang Aakar Khudkhushi Kar Raha Hu.
Girlfrnd-Achchha 1White Suit To Dila Do.
BY-Q?
GL-13v Pe Kya Pehnugi?
Apni ankhein band karke mera chehra imagine karein
Kar liya?
OK
Mubarak ho
Aapne 3 din pahle hi
"Eid ka Chand" dekh liya
U R so Lucky:
aajkal ke bachche kya samajhenge
hamane kin mushkil paristhitiyon mein padhai ki hai,
kabhi kabhi to mastar ji hamen
Mood Fresh karne ke liye hi koot diya karte the!!
kabhi-kabhi Traffic dekh kar man karata hai ki,
kaash mainne Car ki jagah "Bhallaladeva" vaala rath kharida hota.
Girls Get 100% Marks In Two Subjects..??
.
.
.
.
In Makeup And Breakup.
Height Of Overacting
Traffic Police: 
Did Not You Hear My Whistle, Madam??
Madam: Yes I Heard, 
But I Don't Like Flirting While I Am Driving.
Techer Ka DarJa MAA Se B Uncha Hota H?
Pta hai

Qki MAA Apni Lori Se Sirf Ek Bache Ko Sulati H Or_Teacher Apne Lctr Se Puri Class Ko sulati h.
2 GOLDEN RULES of life :-)

Rule-1: Ur FRND "Prashant" is always right.

Rule2: whenever u feel
"Prashant" is wrong, slap urself & read rule no.1 again...:-
Teacher: 1 din aisa ayega jab Prithvi par Pani nhi rahega, Jeev jantu nasht ho jayenge,Prithvi tabaah ho jayegi..


Sardar: Sir to kya us din school aana hai??
Agar Koi Ladki Ghar me B Make up laga kar Ghume to Samjo
.
.
.
.
Ki
.
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.
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Uska Mobile Phone 4G Hai!!
Gf- main kisi aur se shadi kr rhi hun, mujhe bhul jao.
bf - na tere aane ki khusi na tere jaane ka gum....
ja behen ja... Dusri pata lenge hum.......
A rabbit runs, jumps and lives only for 15 years!

A turtle doesn't run,does nothing,yet lives for 300 or more years!

Moral: EXRCISE IS HELL!

SLEEP WELL..
Shakespeare once said:

"I'm going to washroom!!"
Tum kya samjhay? :P
Oye yarr Shakespeare aam batein b krta tha
Hr time quotes nai marta tha!
Are O friendwa...!
Kaisan ho.?
Kauno baat pe naraj ho ka.?
Tohar smswa k darshan kiye kafi samay bit gawa re.
Tanik ek-dui sms wa bhijwai do hamar TunTuniya pe.
Kid-mom did u c me b4 i was born?
Mom-no i didn't
kid-den after i was born how did u know its me?
.
Such kids bcum external examiners 4 viva!:-)
Arz Kiya Hai
Dekh Ke Mohabbat Ki Aisi Misaal Mujhe Bhi
Hairaani Hui...
Zara Gaur Farmaiye.
Dekh Ke Mohabbat Ki Aisi Misaal Mujhe Bhi
Hairaani Hui...
.
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Mohalle Ki Saare ladke Rone Lagi Jab jab shaadi
ke baad ladki Mohalle se rukhsat hue

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