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Santa and Banta Funny Sms 2019 | Latest Santa Banta Joke

Very Funny Non Veg Joke in Hindi 2019
customer: Teri Cow Ki 1 Ankh
Kharab Hai,Fir Bhi Tu
25,000 Mang Rha He.
BANTA: Tusey Cow Dudh Pine K
Liye Leni Hai Ya
Nain-Mila ney K Liye 😛 😀 😀
.–. .-”’-.
( o ) ( o )
(,,)=(,,)= (,,)=(,,)

Banta Qabristan Me Charas Pi
Raha Tha
Police:Kya Kar Rahe Ho ?
Banta:Abbu K Liye Dua,
Police:Ye To Bachchey Ki Qabr
Hai
Banta=Abbu Bachpan Me Hi Mar
Gaye The.
Santa Nd Bantaa R In A Railway Station
Santa Asks The Clerk:Can I
Take This Train To Ludhiana?
No Answers The Railway TT
Can I?” Asks Bantaa.
Santa Nd Banta LNded Up In Bombay
They Managed To Get Into
A Double-Decker Bus.
Santa Somehow Managed
To Get The Seat Below
Bu8 Un4rtunate Bantaa Got Pushed To The Top
After A While
When The Rush Was Over
Santa Went Upstairs To See Frnd Banta
He Meet Banta In A Bad Condition Clutching
The Seats In Front With Both HNds, ScRd To Death
Santaa Enquirex, “Bantaa
What The Heck`S Going On?
Why R U So ScRd?
I Was Enjoying My Ride Down There
ScRd Banta Replies
Yeaah, Bu8 U Have Got A Driver.
Santa Nd Banta Were In Conversation On The Beach:
Santa: Bhaji! , Issno Beach Keyo Kahende Ne?
Banta : Tenu Nahi Pata ?
Santa: Naahi Pata.
Banta : O Aasmaan Te Zameen Day Beech Hai
Isliye Ahnu Beasch Kahenday Nay.
Santa Banta Goes For
A Movie 8 To 12 But Comes Out At 10 bCoz
The Name Of The Movie Was “Dastak”
Man 2 Santa: I Got A
BrNd New Ford IKohn 4 My Wife.
Santa: Wow! That iS An
Unbelievable & Excellent Exchange Offer.
Santa 2 Banta Why R U Watching
The Funeral By Binocular
Santa Replies Because
Dur Ka Rishtedar Tha Yaar.
Santa Bunks Office Comes Home
&
Finds His Wife In Bed With His Boss
Rushes Back 2 Office
& Tells His Colleagues
I Almost Go8 Caught Bunking?
Santa Opens His Lunch Box In The
Middle Of The Road Why?
Just 2 Confirm Whether
He Is Going 2 Or Coming Back From Office.
Q:Which Is The Sh0rtest J0ke?
A:Santa Singh Nd Banta Singh Playing Chess.
Santa 0n An Interview F0r
The P0st 0f Detective Was Asked A Questi0n
Interviewer – Wh0 Killed Gandhiji
Santa Thanks F0r Giving Me The J0b.
FirstAid Teacher:-What W0uld U D0
If U Br0ke Ur Arm In Tw0 Places
Lil Banta:- Id Never G0 T0 Either Place Again.
Lil Banta:- I Dreamed Last Night
Dat U Gave Me Rs 500 F0r Christmas
Banta Singh:- Well
As Y0uve Been A G00d B0y Lately
U May Keep It.
Q:- H0w Did Santa Cheat The Railways
A:- He B0ught The Ticket Nd Didnt Travel
Santa c0mes back T0 his car &
Finds A n0te saying Parking Fine
He writes A n0te Nd sticks
It T0 p0le Thanks 4 d C0mplement.
It Was Santa’s Weding anniversary
Preet0: Shall we have Tand00ri chicken
Tu Celebrate
Santa:Y punish da p00r chicken
F0r the mistake we have Made.
Santa In Mys0re palace
T0urist Guide Sir PLz d0n sit There
Its Tippu sultans Chair
santa – 0ye d0nt W0rry Yaar
I will get up When he c0mes.
Teacher: Why are U Late
Santa: Because 0f TheSign
Teacher: What sign
Santa: The0ne That says
Sch00l Ahead G0 Sl0w.
Ek baar santa ki bhains kho gayevery very funny santa banta jokes
woo use dhoondta huwa park me pahucha
wha ek ladka appne premika ki ankh me aankhe dal kaar kah raha rha tha-
“Jaan mughe tumhari aakho me puri duniya nazar aati hai”
Santa bola, bhai jara dekh kaar batao ki meri bhains kaha hai ??
Plz Dont kill me after reading this-
Santa- Yar banta hamare beech kya relation hai ?
Banta- Wahi jo Besan or Pakode ka hai !
Banta- kaise ?
Santa- Kyunki jab Besan SANTA hai tabhi to Pakauda BANTA hai.
Banta’s wife comes nude in front of the guests while serving the halwa.
Banta shouts: What’s this?
Preeto: Recipe book me likha tha `Serve hot without dressing’
In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa’s wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA: Yes Yes. I’m changing d battery of my camera..
Santa – i need POISON
Chemist – i cant sell widout Prescription
Santa shows his Used ticket of Ra.One
Chemist – Bus kar pagle,,, rulayega kya, Bol, badi bottle du ya Choti …???
Santa k 9 Bachhe Shor Kr Rhe The
1BaCHA DANDE Se Tk-Tk Krta guzra
Santa:BETA Dnde pe Rabar Lgalo Awaz Nhi Ayegi
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Beta – PAPA Ye Kam apne kia hota to itna Shor na hota..
Santa ke bete ka acident ho gaya
Dr: Aapke bete k pair katne padenge..
Santa ne apna sir pakda.
Dr: Kya hua
Santa: Kal hi nalayak ko chapal dilai thi
Santa Khudkushi par speech de raha tha
Khudkushi Paap hai
Zulm hai Gunah hai
Buzdili hai Pagalpan hai
khudkushi krne se behtar hai insan khud ko
Goli maarle!
Santa Chemist Ki Shop Pe 1
Bottle Le K Gaya Aur Ek
Chamach Liquid Shopkeeper Ko
Pila K Bola: Mitha Hai Kya?
Dukandar Bola: Nahi, Kyu Kya H Ye?
Santa: Docter Ne Bola Chemist
Ki Shop Se Urine Me Sugar Check
Karwa K Aao…!
Wo Check Krane Aya Tha. 😛
Santa ne cafe mein ek ladki se I Love you kaha
Ladki ne chanta mara aur boli:
Kya bola?
To Santa rote hue bola:
Jab suna nahi tune to chanta kyu mara?
Banta To Santa: Bahar Kyon Baitha
Hai ?
.
.
Santa: Marriage Anniversary Hai
Wife Ko Chain Gift Diya Tha
.
.
.
Wife Ne Bahar Nikal Diya
.
.
Banta: Kyon? .
.
.
Chain Chandi Ki Laya Kya ?
. .
.
Santa: Nahi Cycle Ki.
Santa found answer to the
most difficult question ever-
What comes first the chicken or the egg ?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega.
Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump
sees a board Don”t use Mobile Here,
he Picks his Mobile Phone,
Calls everyone from his phone
& says DON”T CALL ME NOW.
Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good… Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad…. Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me
Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.
Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.
Banta to his new bride, Preeto,
“Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?”
“Of course, dear, no trouble,” she replied.
“But what will you live on?”
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!
Preeto 2 maid:
Oh Kanta, I have reason 2 suspect that
Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don’t believe it!
U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?
Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.
Bantas advise:-
Dont carry umbrella during rain
Keep WHISPER on ur head
ye ghanto tak geelepan
ka ahsas nahi hone deta:D
An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.
Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, “what a shot you made!”
Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
Santa cuts sides of the capsule
before taking it?
Guess why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To avoid the side effects!
Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank’s slogan was:
We make your dreams come true.
Santa:
Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids,
they don’t study,so i got rid of it
Banta: Good?
Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed.
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.”
Judge: 3rd time you are coming to court,
You don’t have shame?
Santa: you are coming daily,
You don’t have shame?
Santa soote waqt
Do glass rakhte hai,
Ek mein paani sur ek
Khaali why?
Socho?
Kyunki pyas lag bhi sakti
Hai aur nahi bhi.
Tutor 2 SANTA: What is ur father’s name?
Santa: “Beautiful Red Underware”
Tutor: R u joking?
Santa: No sir my father’s name is, “Sundar Lal Chadha”
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla Cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is cement mein jaan hai.
A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said “CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA” & died.
SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,
that was:-
KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha

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